“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump

This is the most famous quote from Forrest Gump, suggesting that life is unpredictable and all we can do is go along with the flow. So, why do the characters in this film that challenge the status quo end up with expired advent calendar chocolate and the characters that do as they’re told get premium Vosges Haut-Chocolat? Jenny, a war protestor, drug user, and stripper out of necessity dies from Hepatitis C (the actual disease isn’t ever specified in the movie, it’s revealed to be Hepatitis C rather than the typically assumed HIV/AIDS in the sequel book). Meanwhile, Forrest, who doesn’t challenge the system and drifts through life like a feather through the wind, ends up rich and famous. There is a typical defense against this argument – Forrest does things that he’s told not to all the time during the movie. He saves his commander’s life in battle when he’s told to leave him behind, his ship is the only survivor of Hurricane Carmen which leads to insane profit, and he decides to go running for three years straight, baffling the nation. But does he ever think that the status quo he’s thriving in is wrong? No – largely in part due to his intellectual disability. This is why the film is morally corrupt – blindly believe in the system and work hard and be rewarded; do otherwise and be severely punished. Don’t you dare dream of how things could be better. This is the movie that led to the successful Bubba Gump Shrimp Company restaurant chain. This is the movie that won 1994 best picture. This is the cynical garbage we choose to believe in because thinking that we’ve done anything wrong in the past is too painful, even if it could lead to a better future. No wonder this shallow, saccharine, “apolitical” film won over the geezers at the Academy.